Saturday, November 29, 2008

Thank you for choosing me

There is no words to describe the feeling of being a mom. You just have to be one. Before I had my baby, I have to be honest, I didn't care for children all that much. I was more interested in puppies and kittens. And couldn't understand why my friends who are parents can keep bragging about their kids for hours with such an excitement. How someone can talk for hours about poop, puke and diapers. I just couldn't figure out why to them it was so interesting to waste hours of conversations...... till I had my little one myself. Overnight I've joined a cult of proud poopy-puke speakers. And it didn't cross my mind that I was a different person just a few days ago. Transformation was just so natural. And, yes, there were a moments when I wanted to apologize to my friends for not paying too much attention to their stories before. I instantly knew how it felt. There is something has changed within myself. I cry really easily, I take it personal when any child is hurt and want to go above and beyond to make a child happy.

Now my baby is growing and brings discoveries every day. And I'm sure, I grow with him too, but in some strange way. I feel how to be a child again. His every little smile is like a million dollar present to me. Sometimes I try to think the way he thinks (if that's possible, he is only 4 months old) and see deeper into things, notice bugs in the grass and sun, blue sky and flowers. Every little thing becomes fascinating. I try to slow down and learn around myself once again, like with the eyes of my child. Learn about him, learn about myself, learn about the world. I never stop to wonder what a miracle it really is - to have a baby. We make many important decisions on daily basis, but when it comes to having a baby it's not up to us at all. We don't choose whether we will have a boy or a girl, we don't choose who it's going to look like, we don't choose when exactly it's going to happen, if happen at all. The all-knowing power that's above us decides everything for us. Not sure how to call it, magic or science. I like word Magic better. Before I had my baby, I thought that I can't have children due to miscarriage earlier, but Magic has happened when I've given up hoping. So, yes, it is Magic.

I've heard before that our children "Choose" us as parents before they are born. Can't quite recall the source of this information but it did catch my attention. Someone developed this theory that on karmic level or reincarnation level our children choose us as their parents before they are born, hence the soul is eternal. That's why a lot of parents can't have children when they decide to..... because it's not their time. Well, one way or another, whether it is true or not, every time I look into my son's eyes it crosses my mind. He's chosen ME. As imperfect as I am, perhaps not the prettiest or smartest, and definitely not the richest, he's chosen ME, to be his mom. And for that I am forever grateful. Thank you baby, I will not let you down...

Your mommy xoxoxo

PS: My Baby skin care line "Baby Sweet Kisses" is designanted to my baby and all the miracle babies in the world. More and more products will be added soon.

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